Parting On Good Terms
by Lady Genjutsu
Summary: "The eve after the final battle, [Nash] appears in Chris's room and announces that he is leaving." ChrisxNash


*Disclaimer: I know this may come as a fatal shock, but I don't own Suikoden or any of it's characters. I don't even own the summary! Konami does.*  
  
*Warning: There ARE spoilers.*  
  
A/N: Yes yes, it's another ChrisxNash fic. I really like this pairing despite the issue of Nash's marital status.  
  
This takes place the night after the final battle under the assumption that Chris became the flame champion. Basically, it's one of my further attempts at trying to portray the unusual relationship between these two characters. When I saw the ending about how Nash visited Chris in her room to say he was leaving, it I had to write this. Halfway through writing it however, I read some information that pretty much proves he is actually married, and in my despair, the rest of the fic came out kind of a weird hybrid of fluff and angst.  
  
Anyway, it took me a long time to write due to credibility issues. I wanted to make this believable and this was the end result. I hope you like it!  
  
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Parting On Good Terms  
  
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It was over. It was over at last.  
  
Chris closed the door to her chambers in Brass castle and leaned back against it, eyes closing, consumed by mixed emotions. So much had happened in the last few months, especially the last few days. It was overwhelming her.  
  
It was dark with only the moon glowing through the window of her room, but she didn't bother lighting a candle as she crossed the room slowly to where her bedroom was. She began to take off her armour, slowly contemplating everything that had happened recently, the memories floating through her mind like a slideshow.  
  
They had finally defeated Luc. It was a vastly fulfilling victory for everyone, but somehow she felt empty as she stared down at the pitiful soul, before leaving him there to die. But, it was all that she could do. The relief of victory that followed outweighed her sympathy for the man, and she soon found herself celebrating at the castle with everyone else. She had paid her respects to everyone before leaving, although they way people said goodbye varied quite a bit. Respectful, but curt nods to the Grasslanders, Budehuc residents shaking her hand, some even pulling her into grateful hugs. And she remembered all of them. Each had their own way of wishing her a prosperous future when she returned to Brass castle as Captain of the Zexen Knights.  
  
And then there was Nash.  
  
There hadn't been much of a goodbye. She hadn't seen him since they'd escaped from the Ceremonial Site, but she saw him standing in the shadows just before she was about to depart from Budehuc castle. She was on her horse and surrounded by her knights who were noisily getting ready to leave, so it was impossible to say anything to him.  
  
However, upon making eye contact with him he smirked, and bowed very slightly, not taking his eyes from her. Even at the distance she was at, she could see he was mouthing something to her.  
  
"Until we meet again, princess."  
  
She pretended not to catch it, but she did. Nash had given her a few lessons on lip reading when they were traveling together in the grasslands. She wasn't nearly as good at it as him, but she could understand a phrase as simple as that one. She didn't acknowledge him; she simply turned to her knights and suggested that they get going.  
  
As her thoughts came back to the present, she found she was sitting on her bed, still half clad in amour, fuming.  
  
Why was she fuming? She shook her head. There was no reason to be angry. Yet she was. Or maybe it wasn't anger so much as a pain of sorts. It was complicated.  
  
Ever since she'd first met him, that sunset at Iksay village, he was sarcastic, suggestive, even crass, and she initially thought him repulsive. He flattered her in order to fluster her, and it worked. Even if it wasn't visible to him, he somehow knew. And it always infuriated her beyond words.  
  
Recently, however, she consciously admitted to herself that there was something about him that she was attracted to. As much as she hated so many of his ways, she simply couldn't help it. She found him oddly supportive and found herself confiding in him rather than her own knights. Over the months it got more and more difficult to hate him. It had gotten to the point where she started to catch herself having amorous thoughts about him.  
  
The only person she hated more than Nash was herself, for falling for his flirtation, for his pretty words and for. him. It disgusted her, that she, The Captain of the Zexen Knights, was experiencing sentimental thoughts about such a man ; a man who was forever sarcastic, overly bold, and supposedly married.  
  
Even now she defied it. She couldn't actually love him; it was too detestable.  
  
So she sat there in denial, contemplating how it could be possible that she was in love with a man she hated. It made little sense, even to her.  
  
Just then, there was a knocking noise that came from the outer room. It startled her, and she jumped slightly. She got up and crossed into the outer room, only to hear the noise again. It was not coming from the door, but the cabinet over by the wall. The knocking was soft but persistent.  
  
Her breath caught in her throat. It was him. It had to be. He was the only one who knew about the secret passage to her room.  
  
Slowly she made her way to the cabinet and reached out push it open, but she hesitated, her heart pounding. Was it really him? What was he doing here? Finally, despite the fact that she felt like her heart was going to explode in her chest, she opened the passageway.  
  
And there he was. He stood there with one hand on his hip, looking at the ground, but still with that smirk he always wore.  
  
He raised his head to meet her gaze, his pale green eyes locking with her violet ones. There was a long moment where both of them stood in the doorway staring at each other, in a greeting of awkward silence.  
  
Finally, he straightened and leaned against the passageway entrance, gesturing to the passage behind him. "I thought you said you were going to have this secret passageway looked into because it was too accessible?" He grinned slightly.  
  
Chris was taking too long trying to get a hold of her composure, and she brushed off his comment completely. "What are you- Why are you here?"  
  
"Because I was disappointed with your inability to read my lips yesterday, even after all my hard work trying to teach you." He readily replied.  
  
Chris turned away from him, breaking the eye contact that was starting to bore into her sanity. "I caught it. I just didn't see the sense in responding."  
  
"Yes, I figured it was something like that. It's because I called you 'princess', isn't it?"  
  
"Seriously Nash, what is it that you want?" Chris took a few paces to increase the distance between them. Whenever she was too close she began to lose focus, and she felt the old rage returning. How could such a man have so much control over her?  
  
"Okay, I'll cut the small talk for once." He responded. "I'm leaving."  
  
Chris turned back towards him, feeling the distance sufficient enough for her to look him in the face again. "Leaving? For Harmonia?"  
  
Nash nodded. "Briefly, yes."  
  
"Briefly? Where are you going after that?" Chris asked, curiosity getting the better of her.  
  
"Does it matter?"  
  
It didn't, really. So she didn't ask again. "So you came here to say goodbye, is that it?"  
  
He raised an eyebrow. "Basically. I just wanted us to part on good terms, is all." Nash smiled, but then suddenly he seemed very solemn, as though he were trying to make a decision of some kind. "Chris."  
  
Chris was taken off guard by the sudden change in his tone, and she was suddenly filled with inexplicable fear. "Yes?" She choked out.  
  
"There is. . . something else. I've been on the fence trying to decide if I should do this or not. But I have to. You're not going to want to listen, but you must. I can't leave without telling you." Nash held her gaze steadily, and he spoke calmly.  
  
Already she knew that she didn't want to listen. "What is it?" She heard herself asking anyway.  
  
To her despair he stepped in closer to her so that he was only a foot or so away, and once again, she found her focus slipping, the closeness of his presence overwhelming her. She felt the urge to step back, but she found she was unable to move, her breath catching in her throat as his eyes locked with hers.  
  
Nash let out a long breath and there was a long pause before he finally began to speak. "It's about. . . well. . . us. Ha! I knew you were going to get fidgety like that the second I said it! But don't you even think of interrupting me, because I'm going to say this no matter how much you resist. . .  
  
"I know what you think I am; an immoral charmer, a ladies man. I can't say you're completely wrong. I can't say that flirting with you was a rarity in my character. I can't say that I treated you any different than I did any other young woman. But that's before I got to know you. No, don't you dare turn away from me like that, look at me when I'm telling you this!  
  
"I'm not going to beat around the bush with this. You probably think I'm trying to seduce you right now, but I don't care what you think at the moment as long as you hear me out. I care for you deeply Chris. In fact, I've fallen in love with you. This is the truth. No, I told you to look at me until I finish!  
  
"I wouldn't believe it myself for the longest time. After all, I'm a married man and a harmless skirt-chaser. On top of that, I had no idea it was possible to. . . well. . . to be in love with two people at once. But it has happened. Look me in the eye, I need you to see that I am serious!  
  
"This, of course, does not change anything. Regardless of whether you reciprocate or not, we are both duty bound and the whole thing simply isn't possible. I know that. You know that. But I couldn't leave without telling you. And I can't say for certain what is going through your mind at the moment. But there's only one way to find out, and that's not by asking you. I know you'll say you hate me regardless of what the truth is."  
  
He stopped talking but continued to stare at her, attempting to read her expression. By this time, Chris' heart was pounding like thunder in her chest, and her face felt dreadfully hot. She initially suspected his claims of being in love with her was complete bullocks but she had known Nash for some time now, and never had she seen him look so solemn and resolved about what he was saying. And, despite the fact that, as a spy, he could be quite an actor, deep down she was compelled to believe him.  
  
Regardless, he had to be insane to think that she reciprocated!  
  
However, her meek reply did not reflect that that thought. "What. . . do you plan to do?" She finally asked, unable to mask the desperation in her voice.  
  
He moved closer to her still, until her back was against the wall and there was less than an inch between them. His eyes flitted briefly down to her lips and then back to her eyes.  
  
"I'm going to kiss you."  
  
"No you're not." She whispered, and cursed herself as she hardly sounded convincing.  
  
"No? Why not?" He was so close, though no part of them was touching. Yet.  
  
"You- You wouldn't dare!" She stuttered.  
  
"Oh really." His voice was quiet, but she could tell by his tone that he most certainly would dare.  
  
"I won't let you." She was sounding less persuasive with every word.  
  
"Why?" He lifted his hand to gently touch her face.  
  
The touch made her gasp involuntarily. "Because. . . I hate you." She was in denial.  
  
"Then stop me."  
  
She froze at his challenge. His face seemed to linger an inch away from hers for quite some time. Finally, he closed eyes and his lips brushed against hers, in a hesitant, yet inevitable kiss. Weakened by his touch, she leaned against the wall for support. He leaned in slightly as she did this, his body barely touching hers.  
  
She had tried to stop it. She really had. Logic screamed at her, telling her to push him away, to slap him. But for some reason she was unable to. Her body, faint with pleasure, defied her mind. And soon even her mind could not think of anything but the sensation of his touch. So, logic having died altogether, she began to kiss him back, allowing her hands to slide up his arms and over his shoulders.  
  
Their kiss was deep and gentle, but held no innocence. Both knew it was wrong, yet they allowed their heated emotions to overflow in the passionate union of their lips.  
  
The action existed outside the passing of time, exempt of circumstance and reason. It was one forbidden moment that lived for them alone.  
  
After what could have been eternity, they reluctantly parted, both of them left feeling heated and breathless.  
  
There was a long awkward moment of silence as they tried to regain their composure. Finally Nash straightened and smiled slightly.  
  
"If that's how you receive a man you hate than I'd love to be on the receiving end of the man that you love." He teased. "In all honesty, I was half expecting you to give me a sharp clout."  
  
But Chris was distraught for having forgotten herself the way she had. "I wish I had." She replied. She couldn't believe she had bought into his speech so easily.  
  
Nash sighed. "You shouldn't be ashamed of your emotions Chris. You are human after all."  
  
"I think it'd be best if you left now." Chris turned away from him.  
  
"You think I just did that to spite you, don't you?" He asked, ignoring her statement completely.  
  
"Didn't you?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Fine, just get out." Chris just wanted him to leave so she could start to forget what had just happened, although somehow she didn't think she ever could.  
  
Somehow Nash wasn't convinced Chris believed him. "Chris, if I had wanted to spite you, or take advantage of you, I wouldn't have ended that kiss, and we wouldn't exactly be talking right now."  
  
"Just what are you trying to prove then?" Chris asked, seeing his point, but still somewhat unbelieving.  
  
"That what I told you before is the truth. And that despite what you think, I have some morals."  
  
Chris fell silent, unable to debate further what he was saying.  
  
"I must admit, it's not going to be easy to walk out of here tonight and not look back. But that's what I'm going to do. Believe it or not, I'm going to because it's what's right. I respect you, and I actually care about what's best for you. You may refuse to believe me but my conscious is clear, because I've told you the truth."  
  
There was another long pause as Nash's stared at Chris, waiting for a response. When there was none, he sighed and shook his head.  
  
"Well, that's all I had to say. Goodbye Chris. Do me a favor and try to love the life you live here." And to Chris' surprise, he bowed, and pressed his lips to the back of her hand.  
  
Then, without another word he turned and exited through the passageway, soundlessly making his way down its steps, leaving Chris alone in the room.  
  
For a moment, Chris just stared at her hand where Nash had kissed it. Then she suddenly looked up at the passageway where Nash had gone. She ran to the entrance and through the darkness saw his form reaching the bottom of the steps.  
  
"Nash!" She called.  
  
His form stopped and turned around, but otherwise, did not respond.  
  
She hesitated before speaking. ". . . Goodbye Nash. Thank you. . ." She said, though she couldn't really put into words what she was thanking him for.  
  
She couldn't see his face, but he sounded like his light-hearted self when he replied, "You're welcome Chris." He bowed once more and then after a long pause, turned and continued down the passageway. And so, as Nash had hoped, the two parted on good terms.  
  
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A/N: Yay for lame endings. Anyway, if you didn't find this credible, I understand, but please don't flame me for it. I did try really hard after all. Any other comments or reviews would be greatly appreciated. Thanks again to all who read it! ^_^ 


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